My dog and I go walking every day. Our morning walk typically takes us to a nearby park where she meets up with other dogs and gets a bit of socialization. Our afternoon walk is ordinarily a bit longer and lets me get in a podcast or phone call as I wrap up my work day. Both walks have a distinct pattern and direction to them. Out the door…down the stairs…to the left…and then a right turn to the park or left turn to walk through the neighborhood. Those are our patterns. Well worn. Trusted. Certain.
Once in awhile, I add in some type of errand to our afternoon walk. I might need to drop something at the post office or dry cleaners. Perhaps I need some small item at the hardware store a few blocks away. In those instances, at the bottom of the stairs, we turn right. Away from the familiar pattern and headed towards something different.
Lima (my dog) doesn’t like it. She spends most of the walk looking up at me nervously, often turning her head towards the direction she is used to going. She’s a bit skittish. She awkwardly navigates the sidewalk and crosses back and forth in front of me, nearly tripping me up in the leash at times. I use phrases like “You’re fine.” and “It’s alright.” to reassure her but it doesn’t really change anything. The confusion continues all the way to our destination. It is only when we turn towards home, towards the direction she is familiar with that she shifts to her “normal” behaviors. She walks alongside me…relaxed..sniffing the grass or bushes, or eagerly out front…confident she knows where we are heading and comfortable leading the way.
As we were on one of these walks the other day I started thinking about how this might show up in my own life. How I get comfortable with the familiar patterns and the well worn path…in my habits and in my thinking. How new ways of “walking” make me nervous or create discomfort.
Let me give you an example to illustrate what I mean. Just a few months ago I started attending a workout class at the same time each weekday morning. This week I know that a friend may need a ride to the airport during that regularly scheduled class, and I wondered if I would offer to give that ride if it interrupts my way of starting the day. Because the truth is, there are other times that I can make that class work in my schedule. But am I willing to shift? To change my pattern? It seems like a small thing but it actually gave me pause. If this small shift in a pattern made me a bit uncomfortable, what happens when big patterns and habits get challenged…when relationships change…when jobs change…when moves happen.
And how about my thoughts? Assumptions? Beliefs? How often do I think I have the answers based on my past experiences, without considering that there might be new information available. We all rely on our default thinking mechanisms to respond to situations and can be prone to making decisions before inviting curiosity in. We can let old wounds and worries impact our present experiences and relationships, without considering what might be different or new for us in the current circumstance. As for Lima, if she could only learn to bring her curiosity, she might start to realize that those new routes often pass by businesses that have treat containers outside…or they may even create the opportunity to swing into Starbucks for a “pup cup”. (A tiny plastic cup filled with whipped cream for those non-dog folks out there.)
Sometimes the new direction has surprises in store for us that are better than we could have imagined. New relationships, new ways of working and living that are full of possibility. What if you took a turn in a new direction? What might be waiting for you?
“You cannot look in a new direction by looking harder in the same direction.”
