Not long ago a friend shared a “holding onto” story with me. She travels a lot for work, and has a small necessities kit that has gone around the world and back with her. It has all of those little things...hand sanitizer, band-aids, a sewing kit, highlighters, Kleenex...you get the idea. She recounted that on her last trip, she took a fall and needed to grab the Neosporin tube that was stashed in that little bag. A few days later she noticed her knee didn’t seem to be healing as well as she expected. She pulled out that tube of ointment and discovered it had expired about 12 years ago. Over a decade! It turns out that it had been flying around the world, taking up space in that kit, when it actually stopped serving its purpose years ago.
Of course that got me thinking and asking myself some questions:
What have I been carrying around?
What’s taking up space that stopped serving its purpose?
What has passed its expiration date?
I realized was that I was holding onto a role in an organization that made me feel secure and safe in many ways, but limited in others. I had a sense that the way I was working wasn’t aligned with my values and vision for coaching. I could see that while I had gotten many benefits from the role, my excitement and energy for important things had expired…like the Neosporin.
Did I mention the security part? The ways that having that job “in my bag” created the illusion that I was prepared and safe?
In addition to that sense of security, keeping that job was connected to a set of beliefs. Beliefs about the definition of success. Beliefs driven by what I thought other people valued or saw in me. A company with a big reputation and a recognizable name goes a long way in creating a sense of importance. A recent newsletter from “The New Happy” asked the question, “Are your beliefs constraining you or freeing you?” That was definitely on the list of questions I had to consider. Were the set of beliefs like the balloons in this photo, lifting me skyward? Or were they like an anchor, pulling me down?
After reflection, coaching and even a couple of therapy sessions naming a alternate set of beliefs, I decided to let it go.
Recognizing that it was time to shift again. To get back into alignment with myself. To return to SHINE. To the clients and challenges and work that creates a spark in me...and hopefully in those that interact with the work.
So you’ll be seeing me here more often going forward. Back with some ideas and some questions for you...and for me!
“Dare to live by letting go.”
